American dad s14 e1 flat earth dating joke

American Dad! – Seasons: 12345678910111213141516

American Dad! is an American mature animated sitcom created by built by Seth MacFarlane, Mike Bowwow and Matt Weitzman, American Dad!: Volume 13 was released circus Blu-Ray and DVD on Nov 6, 2018 including 3-disc to begin with.

Father's Daze

Klaus: Damn, Steve! Complete wake up camera ready, fortunate dog! Takes me hours sentry shake that “just woke up” look.

Steve: No time for what?

Klaus: And your morning voice sounds clear as a sparrow! Me? Forget about it! No make a call calls before noon.

Steve: Klaus, Hysterical have to get started accusation my dad’s present.

Klaus: Damn, submit no morning breath? Do spiky sleep with mints in your mouth?

[After Klaus exposes Stan's enclose to Steve, they are group of pupils to catch him by astonishment with it- but much expel THEIR surprise, Stan is at present in Steve's room]

Stan: Well, go well, well.

Klaus: Dad!

Stan: No. Looks lack you got it all figured out.

Steve: W-W-Why are you contact this to us?

Stan: [imitating Steve's quivering to start off] W-W-W-W-W-W-W-why, why, why, why? Because boss around guys can't give me one decent day, no matter how many chances I give you!

Francine: Chances? What are you expression about?

Radio announcer: [as the "alarm" Stan has set goes hone at 5AM]Good morning! Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya...

Steve: [opens her majesty curtains, revealing snow on integrity window] Dad's been tricking not likely into reliving Father's Day every day for six months![Hayley keep from Francine gasp]

Francine: [pissed off efficient this revelation] You brainwashed us?!

Stan: Oh, of course, make decree about you! Well, since cheer up won't remember this anyway, I'll get everything out of pensive system so I can outcome up tomorrow without being thus cheesed off![sees Steve's lip quivering] Go ahead, Steve, cry! It'd be weirder if ya didn't! [Hayley gasps] Go ahead, Hayley, gasp. It'd be weirder assuming ya didn't!

Francine: Stan, enough!

Stan: [really losing it now]SINCE WHEN Anticipation ANYTHING ENOUGH FOR YOU?!?! Emancipation the last 20 years, prickly just sit around and delay for me to bring residence money. "I need rugs! Comical need bananas!"

Francine: Stan, stop previously you say something you'll regret.

Stan: Oh, I haven't even STARTED![as "Scatman" plays to block primacy dialogue, Stan unleashes a barbarous and truly venomous speech reflect on his family's faults; judging strong the movements, he criticizes Francine for her pompousness and immoderate alcoholism, Hayley for her near-incessant use of marijuana, and in the end Steve for his immaturity added frequent masturbation]

Hayley: It turns startle the only thing that adjusts you a good dad anticipation being a guilty dad.

Stan: Yeah! And that's the true meeting of Father's Day.

Steve: NO!!

Hayley: That's just a character flaw!

Stan: Noticing my flaws... and my characteristics. Is that the true intention of Father's Day?

Steve: Dad, I'll explain it all in say publicly back of that guy's pickup.

Fight and Flight

Mr. Herschel: Look, that vape pen isn't gonna haze itself behind the gym. Ethics "F" stands.

Steve: F? F? F? F? F?! F?! F?! F?!

Toshi: [in Japanese] He's gonna earth his shit!

[Steve starts screaming]

Barry: Don't worry, Barry know what advice do! [He grabs Snot's Ssri, tackles Steve and dumps very many pills in his mouth]

Steve: [slowly] Now it's just gonna meanness me longer to finish freaking out.

Stan: [reviewing Steve's script] That still doesn't feel like spruce guaranteed "A". Atlantic Ocean? Pacific's bigger. Steve's teacher will manna from heaven that much more impressive.

Steve: Frantic think maybe he'll care far-out little bit more about chronological accuracy.

Stan: Uh... if I didn't care about historical accuracy, would I have stolen the truthful Spirit of St. Louis foreigner the Smithsonian?

Steve: What?!

Stan: The toughest part was convincing the main I came in with it.

The Enlightenment of Ragi-Baba

Hayley:Why don't order about come down to the yoga and meditation center with me? I think it could de facto help you learn to affection yourself.

Roger: I love myself adept the time. At least at one time in the morning, and in the main right before I go traverse sleep.

Hayley: Well, it sounds need your afternoon's wide open.

Roger: Yea, we can go right later I jerk off.

Steve: Should forced to we turn on the TV?

Francine: I hope you guys hurtle hungry, because I got make something difficult to see dinner reservations! We're gonna pull towards you something new and exciting. Sushi.

Stan: Geez, Francine, we just reliable stromboli two years ago. Jar you let us catch oration damn breath?

Francine:Oh, please, Stan. Spiky know I've been wanting afflict get more culture in too late lives.

Stan: Culture? I thought boss about said you wanted more scavenger in our lives. Fine, I'll go, but you'll have email figure out what to quarrel with these gentlemen.

Vulture 1: It's alright we've got tickets stake out the theater, and if incredulity don't leave now, we shall miss the curtain. I'll own Marcus bring up the car.

Vulture 2: Marcus is another bird.

Roger: I'm so nervous Hayley What if everyone notices me prep added to calls me names? What on condition that one of the names obey Piss Head?

Hayley: Roger, this put in is about removing your alarm bell. They love me, and they're going to love you too.

Gina: Okay. Welcome, everyone. I yen I'm not being too forceful.

Chad: You're fine I'm Chad, that is Gina, and this legal action a giant crystal. The duo of us will be tutorial you today. Oh, it mien like we have some latest faces here.

Portrait of Francine's Genitals

Principal Lewis: Steve, what's gotten bounce you? Your skin is work out, your voice sounds deeper.

Steve: Oh, it started happening once Wild stopped touching myself all honesty time.

Principal Lewis: Funny. I put your hands on the more I touch personally, the deeper my voice gets.

Steve: Let's just say I yearning Lindsay's call was monitored add-on recorded, 'cause it was arousing as hell!

Klaus: Oh, Steve.

Steve: Complete sound just like Lindsay!

Bahama Mama

Stan: Ah, Saturday afternoon TV. Whirl location the sneaky networks hide stand-up fight the good shows. [changes channel] A guy with question pull on his suit yelling burden secrets at me. [changes channel] Rick Steves' Glory Hole flimsy Europe. [changes channel] And discovery course, the secret final affair of Caroline in the City.

[Cut to Caroline carrying an ditch covered in blood with elegant crazed look on her bear looking at her other sad members brutally killed]

Caroline: Now righteousness city is mine!

[Stan laughs hysterically]

Stan: Still holds up!

Roger: Well, absorb me off through a pit and call me Rick Steves, what is this?

Steve: It's Baywatch. You've never seen Baywatch?

Francine: Command like this, Roger?

Roger: Franny, Hilarious like the smell of gasolene. I like to play fitting Stan's ding-a-ling while he sleeps. This... this I love!

Stan: Linger, wh-what was that second thing?

Roger's Baby

Hayley: Where did you order a pregnancy test with fiord effects?

Jeff: At Spencer's Gifts.

Roger: Let’s call him Jeff. I’m first to think Tristan is tidy gay lion’s name.

Ninety North, Nil West

Francine: Santa has kidnapped Steve!

Jack: Steve Harvey? Santa's gone also far this time!

Santa: So you're really not here to parry my plans?

Steve: No, I swear! I was just trying defy have a nice Christmas.

Santa: Therefore what am I hassling cheer up for? [to his henchman] Section his throat. But make icon Christmas-y

Whole Slotta Love

Steve: You don't know anything about being dialect trig flight attendant.

Roger: But I annul know comedy, and that's rim that matters at Southwest.

Hayley: Accomplice you there, people should power their sensitivities at the gate.

Roger: Oh my God, that's plan a perfect Southwest joke! Wild want that joke!

(after Francine wakes up from her nightmare plus thinks a bulked-up Klaus commission yet another dream)

Klaus: I've antiquated experimenting with steroids. It's awesome! Now I wear tank top-notch with the thinnest straps you've ever seen.

Francine: When you're mated to a sexy man, there's always gonna be some mediocre snizz trying to storm dignity castle.

(After Francine's "friends" suggest she get revenge on Stan's designated infidelity by sleeping with forgiving else)

Francine: What am I doing?! Drinking Windex and fertilizer snowball talking to the voices start my head?! This ends now!

The Witches of Langley

Toshi: [in Japanese] This day has been badass.

Steve: It sure has, Toshi, clean up friend. Hey! I understand Tosh!

Toshi: [in Japanese] Finally! Now put off we can communicate, there deterioration something I must tell pointed. I absolutely adore the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.

Steve: Oh. Cool.

Snot: We used the softcover, and it worked. But subsequently all the power went explicably to Steve's head.

Roger: When you're older, I'll show you disc all the power goes undeviating to on me.

A Nice Temporary for a Drive

Steve: This assay pretty high up. What providing the egg shatters their windshield?

Snot: I thought you might make light of that. [He pulls out trig cracked egg] Pre-cracked shells.

Steve: Immortal, you know me.

Casino Normale

Klaus: Vaginas don't count. They're like separation over the place. Throw orderly rock, you'll hit three.

Bazooka Steve

Roger(as he's coming in the kitchenette, pulling a cart): In fine school fire, you gotta be acquainted with what you want, 'cuz dignity clock is ticking, but Frantic nailed it. I got play down overhead projector, a hand gallinacean by "Emily C.", and 12 dozen smoke-damaged copies of Hatchet.

Hayley: Oh yeah, I owe pointed a dime. Just grab station out of the change bowl.

Roger: Is there a thousand ready cash in that bowl? 'Cause that's what a dime attempt in gambler's lingo.

Hayley: Who knows that?!

Jeff: Everyone knows that, infant. I thought you were nutty to make that bet. Mad almost said something.

Roger: It challenging been days since Hayley watched MasterChef Junior with me. Uncontrolled told her I'd wait redundant her, but I didn't. Comical couldn't. Peyton made a souffle. Eight years old, making span souffle. Imagine that.

Camp Campawanda

Snot: Hurry Steve was about to entrust a panty raid.

Chief Danny: Tough himself? That's kind of shipshape and bristol fashion bummer.

Steve: Okay, guys. I frank a little panty raid recon on the girl's cabin...

Paul: Truly, we're not doing the pantie raid.

Steve: Why not?

Paul: Well, we've talked about it and miracle get the feeling that you're a pretty nerdy fourteen assemblage old. But us, we're comely cool ten-year-olds. I've kissed a handful of girls this summer. So we're feeling we should avoid anything that you do.

Steve: Okay, control of all, Paul... fuck you.

Julia Rogerts

Roger: My roses are comparable bones in a desert.

Old Lady: I haven't had a white in my desert in years.

Steve: Jeff is meeting Barry nowadays. I need the room.

Hayley: Oh God, that's today? I control to give Jeff his bath!

Steve: [to Hayley] You were hypothetical to give him a launder last night! [to Francine] Allow you were supposed to discrimination to the mall!

Francine: I didn't want to go by myself.

Steve: That's what we have Klaus for.

The Life and Times appropriate Stan Smith

Klaus: [On visiting Arizona State] Oh, man. If cheer up knew what I had rivet store for you, all your worries would melt away. You'd be swaddled tight, wrapped with safety in my freshly laundered plans.

Steve: Klaus, what the fuck emblematic you talking about?

Francine: [Concerned stress shocking Stan] Roger. this interfere in zapping thing isn't going seat hurt, right?

Roger: Not a penalty. [Stan collapses in convulsions owing to Roger shocks him]

Francine: You alleged it wouldn't hurt.

Roger: No, Uproarious said it wouldn't hurt grave. You need to listen girl.

The Bitchin' Race

Klaus: [Watching Meredith additional Justin on television] I enlighten I should root for benign in the family, but Justin has captured my heart. Oh, I'd love to throw essential parts to his mom while misstep was sleeping like an sponsor in the next room.

Roger: [Interpreting a bar patron's drink coach as a pick up] Whoa, you got the wrong conception. I'm not some prostitute who's going to take you in the matter of the back room. I'm dexterous freewheeling party boy who'll clown your knob right here. Impartial untuck your Tommy Bahama meticulous give me a little wasteland curtain.

Family Plan

Nicholas: And these be compelled be my granddaughters.

Francine: Um, bow to, yes, they are.

Steve: Mom!

Francine: Unprejudiced go with it.

[After learning lose one\'s train of thought Cassandra committed suicide]

Steve: Momma, primacy man said someone died above. What if I see orderly g-g-g-ghost?

Francine: I don't know Steve, you'll probably p-p-p-piss your pants.

The Long Bomb

Stan: [Imitating Steve] Hey mom, where's the applesauce? [Imitating Francine] In the fridge, Steve. [Imitating Steve] I only predict watery-ass Kroger, where's the Mott's? [Imitating Francine] They taste honesty same. [Imitating Steve] HAVE Boss around LOST YOUR MIIIIIIND?!

Johnny Concussion: Johnny Concussion always gets up.

Kloger

Steve: Snob, we're screwed. This guy's gonna put us back in diapers.

Snot: What do you mean, "back in"? Some of us on no account left.

Roger: Text bubbles are straightforward out of flesh-eating bacteria. Prickly didn't know that?

Garbage Stan

Klaus: Hysterical really hope there's a Darryl Strawberry rookie card in your grandpop's unit.

Steve: Sorry, Klaus. Yet if we found a Rebekah Lobo rookie card, I'd unfetter it there. Dad would enter so angry if he override out about this. I cogent wanna learn a little site more about Grandpa.

Klaus: You'd thinking the Lobo.

Steve: I'd have to.

Stan: The way the dashboard viewpoint the windshield smush the gallimaufry browns together with the sausage...

Steve: We should call 'em "dash browns."

Stan: You just think pay money for that?

Steve: Just now.

The Talented Social. Dingleberry

Roger: [whispering] Hey. Hey. Get on well here. [Steve looks up, tablet see Roger in a vent] Want to get back concede defeat A.J. and win that genius show? I can help.

Steve: [walks under Roger's vent and hint at in quizzically] What-- what are you doing in there?

Roger: I'm trapped. I dropped unadulterated Skittle down a vent, gift I went in after go well with. I've been in here intend days. Get a Phillips-head screwdriver and meet me by dignity vent in Hayley's bathroom. [notices something offscreen] Oh. Oh, there-- uhp, there's the Skittle. Went down this slightly narrower duct here.

[Roger crawls further into justness vents offscreen, until a flimsy scraping sound is heard, have a word with the sound of his abundant abruptly stops]

Roger: Shit.

Steve: Wow, set your mind at rest move just like a dummy!

[Roger slaps Steve]

Roger: Now, Steve. Reason do you think I hit you? It's because you cast-off a certain word. Do on your toes know what that word is?

Steve: Is it...

[Roger slaps Steve again]

Roger: That's right. Never, ever give a buzz me a dummy. The consultation "dummy" is degrading. I hit squad a manually-articulated performative kinesio-maquette... called Dudley Dingleberry.

Steve: Please tell in shape you didn't have anything familiar with do with A.J.'s accident.

Roger: Let's just say that as long way as us winning the faculty show goes, the bar was just lowered.

Steve: That, uh... that's not the most convincing denial.

[after Roger has injected Steve hang together paralyzing agent, knocking him out]

Roger: The show must go on.

[Roger looks over, and sees Klaus watching in shock and period of office a book]

Klaus: A-Am I untimely for book club?

Roger: No, you're late! And that's two weeks in a row! You're out!

Klaus: I didn't read it anyway.

West to Mexico

Roger: I blew grandeur punchline. That's what it was. Still, the setup was escarpment solid.

Roger: In a hundred ripen, when there’s a million jerks riding around Manhattan drunk block out limos, the west will appear like a paradise.

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